Literally
by Roze Hime-sama
Summary: Raimon Town is in complete chaos! First came the animal rain, then came Hiroto the flying pig, Tsurugi and Kirino the cats, Kariya the scaredy-cat, Tenma the ex-ice statue... Now there's Minamisawa the cucumber, Kurama the bald with a baby's bum on his head... What on earth is going on!
1. Chapter 1

This is a funny, stupid idea I thought of!

J: It's going to be completely weird!

Disclaimer!

Sein: NemesisGoddessOfRevenge does not own IE or any of its characters.

Enjoy!

* * *

Ch.1

"_It's boring up here," complained a boy with long auburn hair and forest-green eyes._

"_And you're annoying," retorted his companion, who had maroon hair and teal eyes._

"_Shut up, Sein."_

"_Stop being so rude, Deasta."_

"_Oh, and just because you were a good little angel ten years ago, you still have to be a goody-two-shoes?" As Deasta said that, two huge shoes appeared on Sein's feet._

"_Stop that! You know that whatever things we say in Heaven or Hell become true!" Sein changed back into his golden shoes. "Immortality's still treating us well."_

"_I bet I'll win against your puny Tenkuu no Shito when the time comes."_

"_I won the last time."_

"_Inazuma Japan interfered!"_

_As the angel and demon argued, a bright purple sphere rose from behind them and dropped down onto Earth._

…

…

…

"The weather's really nice," said Aoi to her best friend Tenma.

"Yeah! Perfect for playing soccer!" said Tenma enthusiastically. He swung his foot in the air. Losing his balance, Tenma toppled to the ground.

"Daijoubu, Matsukaze?" A voice asked from behind. Turning around, Tenma found himself staring into two orange orbs.

"Ohayou, Tsurugi!" Tenma took the pale hand his friend offered. Standing up, he dusted off his hands on his pants. "Race you to school!"

"W-wait, Tenma!" Tsurugi stared after the windy defender's vanishing back. Shaking his head, he walked on.

"What, too chicken to race Tenma?" asked Kariya as he smirked at Tsurugi.

The navy-haired striker glared back. "I'll definitely beat you and Tenma in a race." Tsurugi ran after Tenma. Sighing, Aoi picked up her pace and followed her schoolmates.

When they arrived at the clubroom for practice, Shindou and Kirino were already warming up.

"Morning, guys." Shindou nodded to the first years.

Suddenly, the sky turned dark. Rain started pattering down onto the earth, drenching everything in its way.

"Practice for today is cancelled!" said Endou, appearing from the clubroom.

"Awww!" Shinsuke and Tenma whined loudly.

Everyone filtered inside the school.

In the third year classroom, Minamisawa was staring out of a window.

"Whoa, look!" Amagi pointed to the sky. The sky was dark and angry, thunderclouds everywhere.

"It's raining heavily." Minamisawa replied. Flipping his hair, he added, "Or in the words of sensei, it's raining cats and dogs."

"Huh?!" Gasping in shock, Sangoku sprang away from the window. He was pale, with a drop of sweat on his forehead.

"What's wrong, Sangoku?" Amagi moved forwards. Then, he gasped as well. The sight before his eyes was incredible.

Live cats and dogs were falling from the sky, flailing their furry legs in the air, only to land on the ground safely.

"Achoo!" Minamisawa sneezed. He rubbed his nose vigorously.

"Are you okay?" Kurama asked. Despite Minamisawa having a really big head and being full of himself, they were still good friends.

"Yeah. I'm allergic to cats." Minamisawa sneezed again.

"Why are cats and dogs dropping from the sky?" Kurama stared heavenwards.

"They started falling out of the sky when Minamisawa said that it was raining cats and dogs." Sangoku replied.

"I don't understand! It was only an idiom. Idioms are not supposed to be taken literally. They're only a figure of speech." Minamisawa held a tissue to his nose.

Meanwhile, Tsurugi had only just stepped onto the porch of the school's front door when something furry landed on his head. Cursing, he looked up. Cats and dogs of various breeds and sizes were falling from the sky.

"What the hell is going on?" asked Tsurugi as another cat dropped onto the ground before him.

"It's raining cats and dogs." Shindou said. "Literally."

Out of their sights, a purple sphere moved up into the sky.

* * *

Sorry! It's really short!

J: Reviews?


	2. Chapter 2

Another update! Sorry for not updating for a while…

J: You call that a while?!

I blame the exams!

Hiroto: Why did I get turned into a pig?!

A flying pig!

Hiroto: Hey!

Disclaimer!

Hiroto: NemesisGoddessOfRevenge does not own any of the IE characters. They all belong to Level-5.

Enjoy!

* * *

Literally Ch.2

"What on earth is going on?" asked Suzuno, pointing at the sky.

At the Sun Garden Orphanage, cats and dogs were also falling from the sky, scaring the children who were playing outside.

"How'd I know?!" grumbled Nagumo. He glanced at Hiroto, who was stuffing food into his mouth after a long night of work. "Geez, Gran. Are you THAT hungry?!"

Hiroto nodded. He bent down and continued stuffing his face with donuts, pancakes, waffles, and pretty much everything on the dining table.

"You eat like a pig, Hiroto!" Nagumo commented.

There was a bright flash of light where Hiroto had been. "Oink!" In Hiroto's place, a red pig with jade eyes stood there.

Suzuno's eyes widened. "What did you do to Hiroto?"

Nagumo shrugged. "I just said that he ate like a pig."

"Hiroto!" came a voice from the hallway. "I've finished typing out those documents. Come and check them!" When no one answered, Midorikawa poked his head out of the room. "Holy—" Midorikawa stopped himself. "What happened? Is that pig Hiroto?!"

"Well," Nagumo scratched his head bashfully. "Yeah."

"Seriously?" Midorikawa shook his head. "Oh, and BTW, your computer broke down."

Nagumo snorted. "Yeah, right. When pigs grow wings and fly!"

Midorikawa brought out Nagumo's computer. Its wires were disconnected, and the screen was fuzzy with static.

Bang! Hiroto-the-pig grew wings and flew up, crashing his-its head on the ceiling.

Midorikawa stared at the flying pig. But then, he flashed a triumphant smirk at Burn. "Told ya, your computer's broken!"

Nagumo glared angrily. "Go to hell, Midorikawa!"

Midorikawa disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving an empty chair.

"What did you do again?!" demanded Suzuno. Nagumo shrugged again and went to fix his computer, cursing and swearing in the process.

…

…

"Huh?" Midorikawa stared at his surroundings. "Where am I?" He was in a room with black torches next to the door. Plush carpeting covered the floor. Antique furniture decorated the room. It would've been nice if there weren't grinning skulls hanging from hooks on the ceiling.

"What the— who are you?!" asked a boy with long maroon hair walked in. When he saw Midorikawa's face, he relaxed. "Oh, it's just you. You were one of Endou's teammates from ten years ago."

"How did you know that? And who are you? What is this place?" Midorikawa asked.

"I'm Sain. I know who you are because we played soccer together before. You're in Hell, in Deasta's room, and …" Sain suddenly trailed off. "You weren't anywhere near Lilcott Island just now, weren't you?! Humans can't just appear here."

Midorikawa frowned. He remembered Sain now; he was one of the angels of Tenkuu no Shito. "What did you mean, I'm in hell?"

Sain started pacing. "Did anyone say anything special to make you come here?"

Midorikawa thought hard. "Um, my friend Nagumo told me to go to hell, and here I am."

Sain looked alarmed. "You mean… You came here literally?"

"You could put it that way," replied Midorikawa.

"It means that the Sphere has escaped to Earth… Again." Sain glanced outside. "In that case, I and Deasta need to go and capture the Sphere before it causes any more chaos."

Suddenly, Deasta rushed in, nearly knocking over Sain.

"Watch it, Deasta!" Sain scowled as he brushed down his clothes.

"The Sphere's escaped!" Deasta panted.

Sain pointed to Midorikawa. "Evidently."

"We'll send this dude back," Deasta glared at Midorikawa, as if the whole escaped-sphere-thingy were Midorikawa's fault, "and get that stupid Sphere."

"For the first time in ten years, I agree with Deasta. As thick-headed as he is, he has a point." Sain said.

"Right! Hey, who're ya calling thick-headed?!" Deasta tried to grab Sain by his throat.

The angel calmly avoided Deasta. "Anyways. Back to business. Here." Sain handed Midorikawa a glass full of something that looked like grape juice. "Drink this, and you will return to where you were before you came here. Oh, and tell Endou that we will visit him."

With those words, Sain disappeared. Deasta grumbled something under his breath that sounded like, "Stupid angel." Then, he disappeared as well.

Midorikawa drank the 'juice'. He felt a warm tingling inside his body. With a flash, he disappeared, leaving the demon's room empty.

…

…

Nagumo was still fixing his computer when something appeared in front, scaring the daylights out of him. "What?!" exclaimed Nagumo, scurrying back.

"Don't freak out, Haruya, it's just me." Midorikawa glared at him.

"Quit glaring at me!" Nagumo glared back.

"Where did you just go?" asked Suzuno.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," replied Midorikawa.

"Try me," said Suzuno.

After Midorikawa had explained about the Sphere that was making everything happen literally, Suzuno and Nagumo shook their heads.

"So, that's why Hiroto turned into a pig." Nagumo said.

"Flying pig," corrected Suzuno.

"Whatever." Nagumo said, not paying attention. Suzuno growled.

"Oh, no." Before Suzuno and Nagumo could start fighting, Midorikawa had pulled them apart. "Stop it, guys."

"Stop what?" a new voice asked. The trio turned around, only to see Hiroto sitting on the floor, his glasses askew. "What just happened?"

"You're back," said Suzuno incredulously.

"Back from where?" asked Hiroto.

"You were a pig." Midorikawa stated.

"Huh?!" Hiroto looked baffled.

"Never mind." With that, Midorikawa handed Hiroto the pile of documents, and the Sun Garden Orphanage went back to normal. Or so the adults thought.

Humming softly, the purple sphere moved away, disappearing into the distance.

* * *

Suzuno: Piggy!  
Hiroto: Hey! Stop it!

Read and review, please!

Nagumo: What did you do to my beloved computer?!

Fix it yourself!

Nagumo: Grr!


	3. Chapter 3

It's been a while since I've updated this story, minna! I don't own IE or any of its characters. They belong to Level-5.

J: Enjoy!

* * *

Literally Ch.3

It was soon after school, and pretty much everyone had forgotten about the raining cats and dogs incident in the morning. The dogs and cats had somehow miraculously disappeared a few hours after Minamisawa had announced that it was raining cats and dogs, literally.

At soccer practice, Tenma noticed that Kariya was missing. "Where's Kariya?"

"He's not in the classroom; I checked before leaving just now." Tsurugi stretched and jerked his head in the direction of the classroom.

Just then, Kariya ran down the stairs, nearly crashing into Hikaru, who jumped in fright.

"Where were you?" demanded Hikaru, recovering from his fright.

"I was finishing an errand… for sensei!" Kariya said.

Hikaru stared at his friend. "I heard sensei shouting at you to do your homework properly… Does that count as an errand?"

Kariya flushed. "Liar!"

Hikaru shook his head. "It's the sad truth. Accept reality!"

"Liar, liar, pants on fire!" Kariya screeched. Apparently, he had forgotten about what had triggered the bizarre rain from earlier on.

Somewhere next to Shindou, Kirino yelped. "Kageyama… your pants!"

"Huh?" Hikaru looked down. Bright orange and red flames were flickering on his pants, working dangerously down to his feet. "Help!"

Kariya scrambled away from his friend in a hurry. "What happened?"

"You happened!" Minamisawa, who had stopped stroking his hair, rushed over.

"What?" Poor Hikaru was still trying to beat out the flames.

"You said something that made Kageyama's pants catch fire, literally." Kurama explained to a very confused Kariya.

"Here, Hikaru!" Midori splashed all the water from the water cooler onto Hikaru, dousing Kariya, Tenma and the owner of flaming pants thoroughly. Sadly, Tsurugi wasn't fast enough to dodge the water, and the right side of his body was wet.

Cursing, Tsurugi squeezed the water out of his shirt and scowled at Midori. "Was that necessary?"

Midori was too busy fussing over Tenma and Hikaru to notice him.

Hikaru stood there, sopping wet and chilled to the bone. He was shivering hard. Although it was summer, the wind was quite strong and it made the temperature drop by several degrees.

"I'm freezing! I feel like an ice statue!" complained Tenma.

"No!" shouted Tsurugi, but it was too late. Tenma was encased in a block of ice, with wisps of frost curling off him.

"Heck…" Shindou muttered. "What's going on?"

"We have to be careful when we speak. Whatever we say comes true literally." Sangoku said.

"Okay… How do we get Matsukaze to unfreeze?" asked Kurama.

"I dunno." Kirino shrugged.

All of a sudden, two figures appeared behind Tenma. "Just in time. Luckily, too, or this dude would've been an ice statue for much longer,' said a voice in relief.

"All because of that silly Midorikawa!" The voice's companion growled.

"Shut up, Deasta!"

"Zip it, Sain!"

"Mmmph!" A zip replaced Sain's mouth. Sain unzipped it and glared at Deasta. "What did I tell you?"

"You told me that you were a useless, ugly idiot?" Deasta looked back at Sain with an innocent expression on his face, which was almost impossible for a demon to make.

Endou, who had been brooding quietly in a corner since the start of practice, stood up quickly. "Sain? Deasta? What are you two doing here?"

Sain smiled. "Hi, Endou-kun."

Deasta wasn't quite as friendly as his counterpart. "Oi, didn't Green-Tea Head call you about us?"

"Deasta!" Sain elbowed the demon painfully in the ribs. "Show some respect."

Then, Endou's phone rang. Endou sighed at the ill timing, and picked up the phone. "Hello?" Endou's expression changed drastically when he heard the voice on the opposite end of the phone. "Really? So those two are going to make everything normal again?"

Deasta sweatdropped. "Don't talk like that as if we aren't here!"

"Okay! I'll ask the soccer team to help them. Thanks, Midorikawa. Bye!" Endou stuck his phone back into his pocket.

"See? Midorikawa was on time!" Sain said.

"Che." Deasta didn't look convinced.

"Minna! Listen up!" Endou clapped his hands and gathered everyone around him. "There's this purple sphere thingy that Sain and Deasta are trying to capture. So far, its aura is only affecting Raimon Town so it has to be hiding somewhere! I want you guys to help look for the sphere. If you don't, there will be a lot more ice-statues around."

"What?" Kurama exclaimed.

Endou explained again, slowly this time. When he was done, Minamisawa's expression brightened. "So that's why it was raining cats and dogs!" he exclaimed.

"Where shall we look for the sphere?" asked Aoyama.

"Do we need to divide ourselves into groups?" asked Ichino.

"Two to three in a group!" Endou announced. "You can plan out where you are going to search among yourselves. Now, get going."

Ichino grabbed Aoyama. Hamano and Hayami paired up. Shindou and Kirino stayed where they were, close to each other. Kariya pulled Hikaru over to him. The rest divided themselves up into groups.

"How about Tenma?" asked Tsurugi, his forehead creasing.

"I'll fix this problem." Sain stepped forwards, his eyes focused in concentration. A bright beam of orange shot out from his hands and slowly melted the ice.

"Ahhhh!" Tenma came back to life, shivering. "Cold, cold, cold!"

"Who's your group mate, Tsurugi?" asked Kirino.

"Tenma." Tsurugi pointed to his best friend.

"What? Where are we going?" Tenma protested, not knowing what was going on.

"I'll explain to you on the way. C'mon, Tenma!" Tsurugi dragged Tenma away.

"Well…" Shindou said. "Let's start searching, minna."

Everyone went off in different directions.

* * *

How lovely, so they're going on a search now.

J: You're starting to sound like your math teacher..

Really?

J: Yes.

Review, please!


	4. Chapter 4

Here's to all of you who have been waiting patiently for me to complete this chapter!

J: You sound sooo pompous.

Oh, hon~ It's none of your business.

J: Hon yourself!

Tsurugi, disclaimer!

Tsurugi: Roze Hime-sama does not own IE or any of its characters. They all belong to Level-5. And BTW, why did I get turned into a cat?

Beats me. Blame Shindou!

Tsurugi: Shindou-san! /starts chasing Shindou around/

Shindou: I'm innocent!

* * *

"Where are we going, Tsurugi?" Tenma asked, trying to catch up to the navy-haired striker.

"We have to find this purple sphere that causes things to happen literally," explained Tsurugi, striding ahead of his friend.

"Oh, so that's why I froze—"Tsurugi clapped a hand on Tenma's mouth.

"Don't say anything related to idioms!"

"Okay, sorry!" Tenma pouted.

"Hurry. We have to find the sphere before things get worse."

As they passed a park, they heard a conversation between a sister and her younger brother, who was munching on his chips loudly.

"Don't eat so many chips!" scolded the sister, hands on her hips.

"Why?" asked the little boy, his mouth full.

"You are what you eat, after all!" the sister shook her finger at her brother.

"Oh, crap." Tsurugi tried to reach the siblings, but it was already too late. In the place of the boy, a huge packet of chips stood there.

The girl stared, her mouth falling open. "What happened?"

"Tsurugi!" They heard Shindou's voice.

"Yeah?" Tsurugi spotted Shindou and Kirino running towards them at top speed.

"There are more problems over there!" Shindou pointed afar, to where a distraught old man was sitting on a bench, pointing at a gigantic apple next to him with a shaking hand.

"He told his granddaughter that she was the apple of his eye, and then…" Kirino shrugged. "You know what happened."

"And… Where does the eye part come in?" asked Tenma curiously.

"He can only look at the apple now," explained Shindou.

"Oh," Tenma mused, rubbing his chin. "Now I get it. That's weird!"

Suddenly, Kirino's cell phone rang. He picked it up. "Hello?"

"Kirino-senpai!" Kariya's voice was so loud it could be heard through the phone without the speakers on, making Kirino wince.

"Yes, Kariya?" Kirino said, putting a hand to his temples.

"I and Hikaru just saw the sphere-thing! It's purple and glows, right?" Kariya said.

"And?" Kirino was growing impatient.

"It's flying over to the park! We're at the Steel Tower, so we can see where it's headed." Hikaru's voice chimed in.

When Kirino heard them finish their statement, he looked up. "Oh no," he murmured. "Okay, we're on it. Call Endou-kantoku." With that, he hung off.

"What's wrong?" Shindou noticed the worried look on his friend's face.

"The sphere is headed our way!" Kirino barely had time to say those words when a loud swoosh interrupted their conversation.

"Too late," Shindou said. "Come on!"

The sphere was huge, and glowing with energy. It had certainly grown from the last time the boys had seen it.

Running through the park, they tried to catch up with the sphere. It kept on teasing them, taunting them, floating close to them then zooming back up, out of reach.

Passing several people nearby who were engaged in a heated conversation, Tsurugi knew instantly that they were in for more literal trouble. They stopped to listen.

"Dad, why can't I have a Ferrari for my birthday?" A pudgy young man whined.

Another equally fat and grumpy-looking man sighed. "I've told you, it's too expensive!"

"Nope! You're just making excuses~" The other crossed his arms, not listening.

"You need to earn your own money and not depend on me all the time, son!" The man screeched.

"You're just an old penny-pincher!" The young man yelled, finally losing it.

Then, the man stopped. A strange look appeared on his face. Rooting in his pockets vigorously, he dumped everything out of his pockets and started to search.

"W-what are you doing, dad?" asked the younger man. He seemed to have just noticed his father's abnormality.

"Pennies…" The man mumbled. "Where are my pennies? I need to pinch them to make sure they're safe…"

The young man couldn't hold his laughter anymore at the sight of his father groveling on the ground, talking to himself about pennies. He started laughing loudly, cackling with glee, doubled over with laughter.

Tsurugi scowled angrily. He didn't like the man's attitude at all. "Right, that's the last straw!" He declared loudly, pointing at the laughing man.

Pop! There was a moment of silence.

"What did you do, Tsurugi?!" Kirino was staring at the striker.

"Erm…" For once, Tsurugi seemed lost for words. "I turned that crazy, mentally-wacked guy into a straw?"

Kirino shook his head in disbelief. "Not only did you turn that guy into a straw, you also…" He trailed off, listening to the conversation of the shop owners around him.

"Mom? Where did all the straws go?"

"I don't know, sweetheart! There was a whole jar of straws on the restaurant counter. Go ask your dad! The customers need them."

"I can't find a single straw in the whole store!"

"Well?" Shindou raised an eyebrow.

"Fine, not only did I turn a guy into a straw, I also made all of the straws in Raimon Town disappear! Happy now?" Tsurugi's scowl deepened.

Kirino was about to say a retort, but Tenma stopped him. "Kirino-san, Tsurugi! Don't we have something else to do?"

Shindou nodded. "Yeah. Priority one, find the sphere. You two can go and have a catfight later." It wasn't until he heard the mewling of two very angry and deranged cats that Shindou realized his own stupid mistake. "Oops."

"Catfight," echoed Tenma, looking at the two abnormally big cats glaring at Shindou, one pink with azure eyes, and one navy-blue with orange eyes. Their cat eyes were boring into Shindou with fierce intensity, as if they could succumb Shindou to the same fate as theirs by sheer willpower.

Shindou face-palmed himself. "I'm so sorry, Kirino, Tsurugi!" He bowed to the cats.

Tsurugi-the-cat swished his tail and held up a paw, claws glinting.

Shindou gulped at the offending gesture. "Help, Tenma!"

Tenma shrugged. "Etto… Shindou-san, I'd probably want to shred someone to pieces if I'd been turned into a cat against my will."

Shindou glared. "Not helping," he growled.

Kirino-the-cat nudged Tsurugi-the-cat, before trotting forwards, his head pointed to the sky.

Shindou sighed. "Right, we have to find that sphere."

The two felines led the two boys forward, assembling the weirdest quad in history. Two cats and two boys, searching for a purple sphere that made things happen _literally. _In a bad way.

* * *

How was it?

J: I like the cat part.

Tsurugi: Shindou-san! Get back here!

Shindou: /still running/ It's not my fault!

Ah, how sweet. Reviews, please!


	5. Chapter 5

Hi, I'm back! I'm really tired...

J: She's busy with other end-of-year stuff, so she can't update that frequently this week.

Thanks, J! Disclaimer, please!

Shindou: Roze Hime-sama does not own IE or ant of its characters. They all belong to Level-5. Which is a relief, since I'm sure that Tsurugi and Kirino would still like to kill me-

Tsurugi: Come back here, you!

Shindou: /squeak/ I'd better be on my way! /runs/

* * *

Literally Ch.5

"Come on!" Shindou ran on, following the lead of the two cats.

Tenma sighed and trudged behind, pausing occasionally to scan his surroundings, trying to spot the troublemaking sphere.

"Shindou-san!" Kariya and Hikaru appeared in front of them.

Kariya noticed the two abnormally large cats and sniggered. "Are you walking your giant pet kitties? Here, kitty kitty."

Shindou gulped. He didn't think that Tsurugi and Kirino would appreciate being turned into cats, and then have Kariya teasing them.

Tsurugi-the-cat's eyes narrowed to slits. A feral growl arose from his throat. He took a menacing step towards Kariya.

Kariya's eyes widened. "He-help, Shindou-san! I don't think your pets like me."

Tenma face-palmed himself. "Kariya, those aren't ordinary cats! They're Tsurugi and Kirino-san!"

Kariya couldn't hear Tenma properly over the yowling of the cats. "They what?"

Tsurugi-the-cat advanced. Kariya took a few steps backwards and hid behind Hikaru. "Help, Hikaru!"

Hikaru sweat-dropped at his friend's action. "You scaredy-cat, Kariya! They're Tsurugi and Kirino-san, didn't you hear?"

"Meow!" A frightened-looking cat sprang out from behind Hikaru. Hikaru lost his balance in surprise.

"What was that?" Hikaru pointed at the teal cat, which was now trembling and whimpering.

"I believe that you made the same mistake as I did…" Shindou said.

"Huh?" Hikaru scratched his head

"You called Kariya a scaredy-cat. That turned him into one!" explained Tenma.

"Sou…Well, I paid him back for making my pants catch fire!" Hikaru laughed lightly. "Hi, Kariya!" Hikaru bent down to look at the teal cat.

The cat sprang away, its pupils dilated. It moved away from Hikaru, cowering in fright.

"He doesn't like me…" Hikaru said, making a sad face.

"You've turned him into a scaredy-cat, of course he'd be scared of everything!" Shindou said.

"O-oh," Hikaru nodded. "So where's the sphere now?"

"This way!" screeched a new voice. Endou was running towards them, with Midorikawa in tow.

"Kantoku! Watch out—" Tenma was about to warn the coach about the three cats, when Endou plowed his way into Tsurugi and Kirino.

Tsurugi-the-cat yowled in pain when Endou stepped on his paw, tripping in the process.

Kirino-the-cat let out a screech as Endou landed on him.

Quickly, the cats leapt up and started scratching Endou with their sharp claws, slashing furiously.

"Ow, ow, ow!" Endou scrambled away from the cats in a hurry, crashing into Midorikawa.

Midorikawa steadied his friend and glared at Endou. "Stop being so clumsy!"

Endou put a hand to his head. "Sorry… Ow!" His face was covered with cat claw marks.

"Serves you right," muttered a grumpy voice.

They heard a loud smack, and the owner of the grumpy voice squeaked. "Mind your manners!"

Deasta and Sain had appeared again, arguing as usual. They were glaring at each other.

Endou put both of his hands up in the air, in a gesture of surrender. "Don't argue! We've got more things to worry about."

Sain stiffened. "I'm sorry."

Deasta rolled his eyes. "We rarely see eye to eye, anyways!"

"Idiom alert!" said Midorikawa, recovering from the shock of Endou's stupidity.

True to the chaotic power of the chaos, Sain and Deasta couldn't seem to meet each other's eyes.

"Deasta, you stupid DEMON!" Sain growled. He tried to glare at Deasta, but his head automatically snapped to one side, making him wince in pain.

"Ha!" Deasta shouted triumphantly.

"Please stop, you two." Midorikawa was rubbing his temples.

"Hey, guys!" Ichino and Aoyama walked to them, their feet pounding on the granite sidewalk. "Need some help?"

Shindou sighed in relief. "How about getting the others here?"

"Calm down, Hayami, for God's sake!" They heard a loud voice.

Hayami dashed past them, with Hamano hot on his trails. Minamisawa, Kurama and the other third years strolled behind, looking annoyed.

"Help! What the heck—what am I doing here?!" A familiar-looking blond was sitting on the ground, looking confused, with his normally perfect hair messy and ruffled.

"Aphrodi?" Endou asked in amazement.

Aphrodi picked himself up and gave Endou a scowl, as if he weren't pleased at all to see the brunet. "Yes. Now can anyone explain why I'm here? I was coaching at Kidokawa Seishuu, when I suddenly fell into a weird purple portal and appeared here!"

Midorikawa raised his eyebrows. "Your hair looks terrible."

Aphrodi's scowl deepened. "Before you go criticizing the state of my hair, try falling through a portal and keeping your hair perfect throughout the winds." He was about to say more, but then apparently thought better of it. "Anyways. An explanation, please?"

Endou coughed. "You see, there's this purple sphere thing…" Endou explained the whole thing in detail.

Aphrodi looked weary. "So, if I presume correctly, someone said 'god' and I appeared, for entirely no reason, at Raimon Town."

"Yes." Endou nodded for emphasize. "We need to capture the stupid sphere before it causes any more havoc!"

"So I see…" Aphrodi began shaping his hair back into its accustomed side ponytail. "Need some help?"

Endou nodded again, smiling gratefully. "Thanks!"

Suddenly, a whirl from above interrupted their conversation. The purple sphere floated near once again.

"Whoa." Aphrodi ducked, his hands still busy with his hair. "That thing nearly took off—" He was about to say 'my head', but Midorikawa silenced him with a meaningful look.

"No idioms, remember? No matter how smart you are, save it for after this crisis." Midorikawa said smugly.

"O-kay?" Aphrodi finished tying his ponytail and set his hands down by his sides. "So, should we continue our chase?"

The two cats were standing still, sniffing the air. Kariya-the-scaredy-cat was wedged in between them. Tsurugi-the-cat jerked his head in the direction of the sphere, as if to say, 'Move it, slowcoaches!'

They started off again, trudging wearily. Midorikawa followed the cats, leading them all.

"If I'm getting this correct, we're supposed to cooperate with Sain and Deasta to catch the sphere, right?" Midorikawa started babbling on, rambling, and saying meaningless things to fill the gap of silence between the search groups.

Kurama rolled his eyes. "He sure can talk the hind legs off a donkey."

"Drat," muttered Minamisawa in a low voice. He nudged Kurama. "Look what you've done!"

A purplish light passed over Midorikawa's eyes. He opened his mouth. "You're cool as a cucumber," he nodded at Minamisawa.

Minamisawa turned into a giant cucumber with limbs and a horrified expression on his 'face'. "What did he just say?" Minamisawa gurgled.

The sphere, apparently, had taken a liking to the more chaotic part of Kurama's hastily spouted idiom. Midorikawa began sprouting nonsensical idioms.

"This is getting real bad." Sain stared into the sky, as idiomatic chaos appeared all around them.

* * *

Hope you liked this chapter... The next chapter should be the last one, if there are no casualities...

J: What do you mean casualities?

It means me torturing the IE cast more! Mwahahaha~

J: Reviews?


	6. Chapter 6

I'm dead!

J: Well that was a hard chapter.

Of course! I have to go on the internet looking for suitable idioms, etc...

J: Well. Roze Hime-sama does not own IE or any of its characters. They all belong to Level-5.

Here's the final chapter! Thanks for all your support until now~ Enjoy!

* * *

Literally Ch.6

"Wait, Sain!" Endou said. "What happened to the literal side of that idiom?"

Sain scratched his head. "Something about donkeys? Maybe the sphere is weakening."

"Well, someone please stop him!" wailed Minamisawa, who was still a cucumber.

"Senpai…" Kurama smirked. "You're looking _green._"

"Ah!" Minamisawa made a grab for Kurama's neck.

"Hey! Stop it!" Kurama said.

"Keep your hair on!" Midorikawa said to Kurama.

"Help me!" Kurama's, um, hair started floating off his head. He was losing hair rapidly, and was nearly bald in no time. His hair regrouped itself and floated away in a group, all the way keeping Kurama's hairstyle.

"Mommy, there's flying hair in the sky!" They heard a little boy say.

"Don't be silly." The boy's mother tugged the boy away.

"Midorikawa-san!" Kurama patted his head. "I'm completely bald now!"

"Yeah!" Midorikawa sang. "You're as bald as a baby's backside!"

"Get it off me!" Kurama scrabbled at his head. A baby's, ahem, backside was seemingly stuck on the top of Kurama's head.

"You know, you seem like a pervert now, with a baby's butt on your head." Minamisawa was laughing hard.

"Shut up!" Kurama yelled.

"Mmphhh!" Minamisawa's mouth was instantly sealed.

"Ha, gotcha there!" Midorikawa was about to say more, but something popped up in front of his mouth. "What on earth…?!"

"Hee-haw, hee-haw!" A donkey said. "Hee-haw, hee-haw!" With a boom, its hind legs popped off, startling Tenma, who leapt away from it.

"Okay…" Deasta said. "Now that was unexpected."

"The donkey's late. It means that the sphere is losing power," explained Sain. He looked at Deasta. "Did you bring the net?"

"I think that I have it somewhere…" Deasta fished around in his pocket. "Here!" he handed out a mass of gold to Sain.

"Stop speaking nonsense, Midorikawa!" Endou pleaded.

"Nope! I enjoy hanging noodles on your ears." Midorikawa replied.

"Eww!" Endou tried to flick the sticky noodles that had appeared on his ears. "They're sticky and slimy!"

"Come on, we have to capture this sphere." Deasta waved the net at Sain's face.

"To do that…" Midorikawa murmured. "…is to seize the moon by the teeth."

Deasta's eyes widened in horror. "Um… Did he just say…"

Sain thought carefully. "It means that capturing the sphere is impossible."

"How about the moon and teeth part?" Tenma wanted to know.

"Ow!" Deasta felt around his teeth with his tongue. "What's stuck in my teeth?"

"Open wide." Sain ordered.

Not being able to protest, Deasta opened his mouth. "Hurry!"

"That's a…" Sain took out a toothpick. "Moon cake." He picked out the pieces with his toothpick.

"Moon cake?" asked Tenma.

"It's a kind of traditional Chinese food," explained Sain. "I guess that the sphere doesn't have enough power to stick Deasta to the moon with his teeth in it." He turned his head away. "What a pity."

"What did you say?" Deasta's eyes had narrowed to slits.

"Nothing." Sain waved Deasta's question away.

"Oi, green tea head!" Deasta shouted to Midorikawa.

Pop! Midorikawa's hair disappeared, only to be replaced by lumps of green tea ice-cream.

"Ha, gotcha!" Deasta jeered. "Hey, Sain. How are we gonna capture the sphere?"

"Yeah, how?" echoed Midorikawa, with lumps of melted ice-cream sliding down his face. "Let the cat out of the bag."

There was an angry screech. Sain suddenly had a sack in his hands, which was twitching violently. "Huh?" He looked bewildered.

"Where's Tsurugi?" Tenma looked around for his furry friend.

Kirino-the-cat pointed a paw at the sack, and then backed away very slowly, dragging Kariya-the-cat with him.

"Uh oh." Tenma got the clue and followed the pink cat.

"Sain-san, drop the bag and move away quickly." Tenma instructed.

Sain still looked confused. "Just like…that?" Sain dropped the bag, hard, onto the ground.

"Run!" Tenma shouted.

Sain was still frozen to the ground. With a loud screech, Tsurugi-the-cat sprang out of the bag and started shredding whatever was in close vicinity to him, which unfortunately and to the great amusement of the demon, included Sain's pants.

"Eee!" Sain leapt high in the air. "My pants!"

"That is hilarious, Sain!" Deasta was howling with laughter.

Tsurugi-the-cat continued his scratching rampage, until Tenma walked to him. "Tsurugi, calm down." Tenma peered down at the navy-blue cat.

The cat-boy froze for a moment, and then slinked away to a corner where Kirino and Kariya were.

"Wow, Tenma." Endou patted Tenma on the head. "Tsurugi really listens to you."

Tenma blushed, stuttering. "I-I, erm, ano…"

Meanwhile, Sain's pants were falling apart. Being almost shredded to ribbons, his pants all but ceased the function of serving as clothing.

"Sain! You-pftt…" Deasta was still laughing.

"You sure smile like a Cheshire cat, my friend." Midorikawa remarked.

At this moment, Deasta's mouth became impossibly wide. "What's going on?" he asked, his mouth stretching dramatically.

"Well, well." Sain recovered his composure. "Who's the funny one now?"

"You—" Deasta couldn't continue his sentence.

"Ahem, excuse me." Aphrodi said. "Aren't we supposed to be concentrating on capturing the sphere, instead of bickering?"

"Yes," chimed in Midorikawa. "You guys should put a sock in it."

"Uh." Sain choked.

"Ew." Deasta clutched at his throat.

They both fished a sock out of their mouths, and glared at Aphrodi. "Thanks for that idea you gave him, Blondie," they both said.

"No prob." Aphrodi winked. "Be grateful that he didn't give you a dirty gym sock!"

Sain and Deasta looked ready to fly at Aphrodi's throat, but they restrained themselves.

"Right," Sain mumbled. "Back to business."

"Yeah." Deasta agreed.

"Ano, Endou-kantoku." Tenma said, tapping the coach's arm. "The sphere's getting bigger."

"Help!" Hayami was running around. "It's the end of the world, the sky's falling down, and the ground's crumbling!"

"Stop it, Hayami!" Hamano looked alarmed. "Don't be so pessimistic!"

Hayami stopped. The purple glow descended over him for a brief second.

"Was it really that easy?" Hamano shrugged his shoulders.

"I think I know how to bring the sphere down!" announced Sain.

"You do?" Deasta eyed Sain suspiciously.

"Yeah. Well, here goes nothing." Sain looked around. "Anyone's got a speaker?"

"I do!" Tenma raised his hand.

"What have you got a speaker for?" Hamano asked curiously.

"Aoi was practicing to be a cheerleader… I offered to carry the speaker for her, since if I disturbed her during her cheers she would smack me on the head with it." Tenma rubbed a sore spot on his head.

"Oh." Sain blinked. "Okay."

Standing up, he raised the speaker up to the air. "Oi, Midorikawa! Come over here."

Midorikawa obeyed. Before he could say a word to cause any literal trouble, Sain opened his mouth. "Shut your mouth."

Midorikawa tried to open his mouth again, but he couldn't.

The sphere came closer to inspect what had happened to its closest ally.

"Now!" Sain turned to face the sphere. "Hey, sphere." Sain tried his best to sound casual, as if he weren't talking to a floating, purple sphere.

Deasta snorted.

"You're looking like a small fry."

Boom. The sphere shrunk and shrunk.

"Where's the sphere?" Deasta asked.

"There." Sain pointed to the ground.

On the ground lay a small, purple, glowing fish.

"Oh." Endou sighed. "That's what you meant by a small fry."

"Anybody knows how to fish?" Sain questioned.

No one answered. Deasta smirked. "That's all you've got?!" he demanded. Snatching the net from Sain, Deasta scooped up the fish and put it into the golden net.

Slowly, the golden net vanished, going back to Heaven or Hell or where it was supposed to be.

"Gah! Shindou Takuto!" spluttered a very angry, furious and deranged but _human_ Tsurugi Kyousuke.

Shindou gulped. "Um, Tsurugi…"

"Shindou…" Kirino looked murderous.

"Kirino, Tsurugi, I'm sorry! I didn't mean it!" Shindou bowed down.

But Tsurugi wasn't having any of it. "You're dead meat!"

Kirino wasn't accepting his apologies either. "Sorry, Shindou. I know you're my best friend, but I still have to punish you."

"Help me!" Shindou ran away, with Tsurugi and Kirino hot on his trail.

"What happened just now?" Kariya enquired.

"Heh…" Hikaru sweat-dropped. "It was a very long story."

"So now everything's settled down, I'll be going!" Aphrodi stood up awkwardly.

"Want us to drop you back on the way?" asked Sain.

"We'll handle this dude as well," added Deasta, pointing to Midorikawa.

"Why, thank you." Aphrodi smiled. "You won't try to murder me on the way back, will you?"

A dark aura rose out of the duo. "Of course not!" They answered sweetly, eyes flashing dangerously.

Aphrodi gulped. "Then maybe I should… run away like Shindou?"

Meanwhile, Minamisawa and Kurama were back to normal. And Hayami was complaining again about the supposed state of the ground and the sky.

"Ah, all's well that ends well, isn't it?" Midorikawa said.

"No!" Everyone turned back to glare at him.

"A-ha-ha…" Midorikawa sweat-dropped. "It wasn't my fault in any way, was it?"

* * *

The end! Ta-da!

J: I'm glad that's over.

Midorikawa: Me too.

Reviews, please! XDXDXD


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